Category Archives: Idiosyncrasies
Less a-Blaze, more a-phelgm
‘Rolex – from £1,795’ So screams the big-screen advertisement for Ramsdens the pawnbrokers at The Riverside Stadium, home of my favoured provider of sporting disappointment: Middlesbrough FC. The first time I saw that, I assumed there was some sort of … Continue reading
The creamiest milk, the whitest bar…
Well hello there. It’s been a while. Almost a month in fact, now I look at it. A month?! *dies* So where have I been? Pfft, where haven’t I been? The African Plains. The Mamanuca Islands. That new Burger King … Continue reading
I should be so lucky
You know, over the years I’ve learned quite a few things… *edges his rocking chair closer to the fire, straightens the woollen blanket across his lap* I’ve learned how not to install a garden pond. I’ve learned to heed the … Continue reading
All the colours
I confess to taking no real pride in my appearance when heading out for a run. To be clear, it’s not like I’m soiled, semi-naked and sporting an unkempt beard spotted with 3-day-old Rice Krispies or anything. Well, just that … Continue reading
Enter The Booler
I’ve been thinking. You’ve probably been wondering what pained, grinding noise was somewhere off in the distance. It was me. Thinking. But what have I been thinking about? Have I been considering how many years it takes the average woman … Continue reading
Trimming nostrils, waxing legs and chilling out
Good festive period? I myself cannot complain – I received many fine gifts. Non-finer that the ‘Kleeneze Nose & Ear Hair trimmer’ I received from my dear wife. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. For us both. After all, … Continue reading
A Reminiscent Wind
I made a fatal mistake the other weekend. Well, I say mistake. It very much depends on your point of view. Or my point of view. Or perhaps even Points of View with Anne Robinson. Remember that? Middle England would … Continue reading
Carving out a niche
Last Saturday morning, 6:42am: I clamber out of bed, relinquishing the warm embrace of the duvet. I lift the bedroom blinds a little and glance outside in the bitter blackness. Urgh. Stupid running. Nevertheless, I cast off the pyjamas and … Continue reading
It’s cold. It’s dark. Running? Do I have to?
I’ve not been well, you know. I’ll pause momentarily for sympathy… *deafening silence…tumbleweeds*… I’ve had a nasty cold. Which we won’t be referring to as ‘man-flu’ as, in these enlightened, post-modern times, it could be construed to be sexist. Thus … Continue reading
The Feathered and the Furious
We’ve all misplaced something important at some point. The car keys. An elderly relative. Nuclear launch codes. It’s easily done. When I’m out running, I’m occasionally stopped by strangers suffering directional difficulties or similar, but its rare that my stride … Continue reading
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